Rescue and Remmission

[Laurie]

I have now been writing this for about 4 or 5 hours and have 8 pages written. I have been trying to put all my emotions, thoughts, and information on paper to write what I thought would be a short blog. No luck. I will continue writing though, and getting more stuff out of my head and heart. So to keep this short, I will just put down what has happened to me in the past couple of months.

In March I started my prep for my colonoscopy on a Mon. morning. I started having major side effects from the prep and finally passed out about midnight.

I had my colonoscopy on Monday morning, at the hospital with my surgeon, still in alot of pain from the prep. The colonoscopy went well.

I was in severe pain, nausea, bloating, fever, from my ribs down since starting the prep on Sunday. That lasted all week. Not from the colonoscopy.

Thursday morning I ended up with an emergency appt with my surgeon about the pain and symptoms I was having.
My surgeon walked into the room and was concerned about me, but smiling at the same time. We discussed what was going on and found that my potassium had dropped critically low again (past problem) and that the prep was causing many of my painful problems.

My surgeon then started talking with me about my procedure. She stated that everything went really well, only one polyp and the other biopsies she took where all clean!
I started crying and could not stop. I could hear myself asking her why me, how? She took my hands in her's and told me to look into her eye's and repeat the words she was saying.

Remission..........we said it over 3 times together, with tear's in her eyes also.
She said I have been given a gift, to keep doing everything I have been doing, to embrace each day.

I sat there, crying, asking her why me?? I know of so many other's that are deserving, who are dying, who are not yet diagnosed. She told me to take my gift of time.

Please understand a part of me, I do know I have been given a gift, a mitzvah.
I have been given tomorrow.

My emotional breakdown was major. It surprised me in many ways to realize that I still do not have it together yet. I did not know how much my cancer dx had taken on me. I went through this alone.........I told no one, and it has stayed that way, my stage 2 colonrectal cancer.

So I guess my main point of all this is I looked up the word remission in my Tabor's medical dictionary, and while searching came across another word. I read both several times.

Here they are:

Rescue: to restore an organ to its normal function after an illness or a treatment has damaged it.

Remission:
1. a lessening in severity or an abatement of symptoms
2. the period during which symptioms abate.
3. the period when no evidence of underlying disease exists.

I can accept both words:

I and my doctor's have rescued my illness, and allowed me to step into a state of remission.

G-d Bless
Sat Nam
always with love and prayer to all,
Laurie

I said and wrote it again!
My book is not closed it has barely begun!

[Koryn]

Laurie-
This was really a beautiful word picture of a flood of relief and, as you say, rescue. My journey has only just started 8 months ago for breast cancer, and I still have 6 more months of chemo, but knowing that I too will find this place where you are is such a comfort! I am sure you just couldn't believe his words!

Things here are GOOD! My hair is starting to come back in, albeit S-L-O-W-L-Y. The wost of my chemo ended April 15 and I continue with infusions of a gene targeted drug through Dec. This drug doesn't make me sick, just a little tired and last month it gave me headaches for a week but so far since Wednesday's infusion I have not had any of those again. My kids are done with school, and leave for summer camp tomorrow. My college sons are home, although one is working and living 2 hours away this summer. He'll be here for Fathers Day weekend.
I flew home to California in May for my parent's 50th anniversary and saw lots of old friends. It was really great to be well enough to go and I saw my 1 year old niece for the first time.

I have been blogging my journey at My Blog <-----click . I updated it a few days ago after meeting with a new oncologist.
I am also back at work in my jewelry design studio. and that brings me lots of satisfaction and joy. What do you do with your copper and brass and silver? I use those materials a lot! What kind of beading do you hope to do?

Drop me another line soon!
Koryn ♥

[Jane Ali]

Oh Laurie,
I know how you feel with all the tears, sometimes you just can't stop crying!
I've been there. Always feels good afterward. I'm glad you blogged and please continue to blog and tell us how you are doing.
Blessings,
Jane